20+ scottish humour ideas | scottish, humour, scottish quotes
Sheffield I'm Methusala. Where have you been all my lives?
Sheffield Seth - Is that the jawbone of an ass in your pocket, or Sheffield Such unusual eyes - one eye's 'igher than the madera girls snapchat names Sheffield Joshua - Is that a trumpet in your pocket, or Sheffield 18 Jun Look, I don't mind the wailing, but I hope you're not going to gnash your teeth Sheffield Get your fig leaf Sheffield d? Coventry scortish Dec I can see that you're just here for the crack Coventry Were you thinking of stripping it all off then?
Coventry How do you fancy your screws at trade prices? Coventry Oo, well this lot'll have to come down Coventry Do cyat want to get felt laid down in the loft? How does every Scottish joke start? By looking over your shoulder. Whats the difference between a smart Chattanooga adult personals man and a unicorn?
Nothing, they're both fictional characters What's the difference between Scotland and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer. What do you call a Scotsman in the knockout stages scottisg the World Cup? A Referee.
Why was Alex McLeish speeding? To get three points.
What does the Loch Ness monster eat? Fish and ships Did you hear the joke invented by a drunk Irishman?
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It's called the bagpipes and the Scots still don't get it. Why were the two Scottish gals travelling in London pissed off?
Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock! What time was it when the Loch Ness monster ate the Scotland prime minister? Eight P.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Science chat John? Princess Diana never became a queen of England What do you call the useless piece of skin on a cock? A bloke from Scotland.
11 of the most bonkers laws in scotland
Why aren't the Scotland football team allowed to own a dog? Because they can't hold on to a lead. Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be mass confusion! What does an Owl in Scotland watch? How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
Someone is blowing into it. What time does Jamie Murray got to bed?
What do you call a Scotsman with diarrhea? Why do the Scots make better lovers than the Germans? Because Scots are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 minutes and still come second. Whats the difference between Cinderella and the Scotland football team?